For this week's Read Write Poem prompt I wrote two poems. I struggled all week and tried many variations; first an email, then a song, before finally deciding on using a short poem. Feeling horrible for cutting up Slyvia Plath's Metaphors I decided to seal my spot in hell by cutting up Emily Dickinson's I Never Lost As Much But Twice. I don't think these poems make any sense and they're kind of creepy. Maybe I chose the wrong material.
Metaphors No More
Loaf’s nine means
Fruit train, big timber house
Yeasty tendrils rising, strolling
New-minted apples
Bag getting elephant
Melon red stage syllables
Money’s ivory fat cow
Two fine eaten green calf
Ponderous boarded riddle
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I Lost It All
Poor reimbursed banker
God
Burglar
Father never stood much
Sod
Beggar
Lost door store
Angels descending twice
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Lost it all, to gain it all? This second poem especially, in its simplicity, seems to say (imply) richly more than the mere words by themselves. Left to my own thoughts to complete, "Lost door store" (wonderful) and "Angels descending twice", both conjure deeper images and questions too. Most interesting.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing these Jessica.
When I was in college our class had to look at a painting by Picasso and decribe what it meant to us. I personally thought it was junk. When I read your two poems I find meaning in them. I guess you could say that your poems have made more of an impression on me than Picasso ever did. Lola still loves you. Good effort with Emily, you obviously made her work better. Never liked E either.
ReplyDeleteRegards,
DH
nicely done.....and thanks for sharing this jessica
ReplyDeleteI like these because they're a little grotesque, and really give two good, but well-worn, poems a a new lease on life. There's also a tinge of modern grittiness in them that you must have injected which is very good as well.
ReplyDeleteGreat work with the prompt! You really make me see these poems in a new way.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone! I'm glad you were able to find more pleasure in reading these poems than I was in writing them.
ReplyDeletewoodennickel: What a wonderful compliment! I'm not so sure that I am deserving of such a compliment, but I am very thankful for it.
I love the Emily Dickinson cut-up because it shows how important her hymnal meter and dashes were to her unique "voice." Reading this cut-up, without meter or dashes to clue me, I cannot identify the source as ED, even though the words are hers! I think that by putting these words alone on their own lines, you make their inter-relationship very powerful: God, burglar, sod, beggar.
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