Poem #2 for the Read Write Poem Poetry Mini-Challenge. I have no doubt that I will make it the whole way through, I'm just not sure if I'm going to actually create anything worth reading. Here is today's offering:
Eavesdropping 2
There’s a buzz
And a flickering of the lights above us
They’re about to go out
I was deep in the desperation
Of other people’s confessions
Comparing them to my own
Almost certain what I was hearing
Should never be repeated in a public forum
When she took the seat next to me
Then the satisfying and familiar slide of the zipper
As she pushed it further along
Sliding items into her bag
Back
Then further back
And back some more until it reached the end
I could tell from the look in her eyes that she
Wished she could throw herself into that bag
And hide forever
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i like how the movement of this is "back" "then further back" b/c often the motion of our eavesdropping is "what's next." it's a great surprise.
ReplyDeleteand in terms of creating anything worth reading: the writing stage is never the time to worry about that. :) get it on the page. revision will take care of all your worries!
"Back
ReplyDeleteThen further back
And back some more until it reached the end
I could tell from the look in her eyes that she
Wished she could throw herself into that bag
And hide forever"
That was so well written and expressive. Very well done.
Mark
http://radio-nowhere.org/nb/