Day 30 and the bittersweet end of NaPoWriMo.

It's been a very productive month in terms of writing. I successfully completed the challenge of writing a poem a day during the month of April. There were even days when I was able to write more than one poem. Thanks to everyone who stopped by to read my entries and to those who made comments on them. And a special thanks to everyone who participated in the 30 poems in 30 days challenge. Being able to read the entries left by other participants helped a lot. It made me realize that I wasn't alone in the struggle and allowed me to be introduced to some amazing writers. I still plan on posting poems here, just probably not everyday, and I hope the rest of you continue posting too. I have enjoyed so much of what was written this month, imagine how wonderful our poems will be without time constraints! Here is my final entry for the month of April:

Bittersweet

She carries leftover conversations
In the palm of her hand

The beginnings
Middles
And ends
Of time well spent

In hospital rooms, visiting
Her sick grandmother

In bunk beds, reassuring
Her younger brother

In late-night phone calls, made
To her mother
Just to say hello

It’s always been her job
To handle the clean-up

Pull all the words together
Make something tangible from them


*The line carries leftover conversations was taken from the Leave A Line, Take A Line entry on Read Write Poem. The line was posted by Deb at stoneymoss.org.

Day 29. I don't think I can make it, so tell me how it ends.

One day left...I'm excited and disappointed at the same time. Oh NaPoWriMo, I am going to miss you! Anyway, here is my poem for the Read Write Poem prompt.

Tell Me How It Ends

Take another step
Keep up
Wait

I always pay close attention
to your instructions

I’m not as strong as you are

You tell me how to cope
You tell me how to hope
You tell me how to breathe

Seems I can’t do anything without you
walking me through the motions

I can’t make the pieces fit

Or get that voice out of my head

That annoying little engine
coaxing me to recite over and over again,
I think I can
I think I can

When we both know I can’t

Just tell me how the story ends
Do I make it over the mountain?

Day 28. Nearing the end and my writing has turned to crap.

Not my best work, but as good as it's going to get for the day. Two offerings for "Seeing Red," the Read Write Poem prompt.

Nocturnal

I used to dream in red
about changing the world

I thought I was special

Now I dream in black and white
about unrequited love,
only to realize I’m the same
as everyone else

******************************************

A Crimson List

I sit down,
make a list of all the things I’ll need

A mixer
for tossing in sins

A notebook
For keeping secrets,
generating scarlet letters,
and confessions

A vacuum
for destroying the remnants
of our failures

Candles
for melting the evidence

The red line train
for escaping

All of the items are red
because red demands attention

Satisfied,
I put the plan into action

Day 27. Written in less than five minutes, using supplied words.

I have to head out the door so I wrote this in like five minutes. I'm not sure if I'll have a chance to get back on and write later. I like the title. It's kind of lame, but I like it. Prompt courtesy of Read Write Poem.

Using Supplied Words

I am leaking through veins
Supplied by lack of ammunition

I’m the wicked backwards cadence

Nascent
I value all my specimens
And relish
In acts of impossible lunacy

Day 26. It has been a rainy weekend.

I love rain (just thought I would toss that in).
I didn't follow the Read Write Poem prompt, but I did write a poem in response to one of Rumi's. The Rumi poem is listed first, courtesy of http://www.rumi.net/rumi_by_shiva.htm, followed by my poem.

Poem by Rumi

You think you are alive
because you breathe air?
Shame on you,
that you are alive in such a limited way.
Don't be without Love,
so you won't feel dead.
Die in Love
and stay alive forever.

*************************************

My Response, Untitled

I know I am alive
because I breathe air.
Shame on yourself,
never having learned the power of a deep breath.
I am not without love
and no one lives forever.
In fact, when I found life in love
part of me was already dead.

Day 25. This is not a how-to. It is not even close.

I started out following the prompt by writing a list of things I wanted to learn, but stopped after the first thing I wrote down. Inspiration is tricky, I go with what works. I'm hoping to come back to the prompt later to write a proper how-to, but after I've had some sleep.

Liner Notes

I want to learn
How to play the piano
But you won’t teach me

A conflict of interest
Or so you say

I wonder what you’re so afraid of

I promise
If your hands should wander
From the keys
To my flesh
And I should find you
Impossible to resist

I’ll help you file away the regret
In the sheet music

Read Write Poem

What an honor! The Kreativ Blogger Award.

Lucky me! Fellow NaPoWriMo poet Angie has honored me with the Kreativ Blogger Award. Thanks Angie! Angie is an amazing poet who has two blogs, wobbly legs and the space between words. Check out her stuff!
http://wobblyleggs.blogspot.com/
http://therer2doors-thespacebetweenwords.blogspot.com/

The award comes with a few responsibilities:

1. Post the award on your blog and link to the person who gave you the award.
2. List seven things you love.
3. Pass it on! List seven blogs you love and let those people know you’ve given them the award.

Seven Things That I Love

1. My Mom
2. My dog Lola
3. My incredible friends and family
4. The Office – Michael Scott Rules!
5. Starbucks – especially the tall vanilla latte
6. Baseball – Cubbies and Yankees!
7. Wine

Seven Blogs That I Love

1. a slice of life
some of the best poetry I have ever read
http://a-mus-ing.blogspot.com/

2. lend me your eyes
Antonio Estevez, a great artist
http://antonio-estevez.blogspot.com/

3. geek ink
another fabulous writer
http://itsacanadiangeek.blogspot.com/

4. the possibility of being
more wonderful poems
http://earthmama2k.blogspot.com/

5. mission improvisational
Danielle Mari: creative genius
http://missionimprovisational.blogspot.com/

6. poetical bits
sometimes comedic, always brilliant

http://poeticalbits.blogspot.com/

7. westering
Sarah Haliwell’s poetry site…simply amazing
http://knittingthewind-westering.blogspot.com/

Day 24. I’m listening to a Spring Song…are you listening?

Two poems today. I was on a roll yesterday, but I'm saving those poems for a project I'm working on. Sadly, I think one of the poems from yesterday fits today's Read Write Poem prompt a lot better. In any case, here are the two I wrote today, which sort of follow the prompt. I mean, there are some sounds in there. Ha ha ha!

Spring Song in the Windy City

Last night
The city was in shambles
Rain was banging on my windows
Begging to be let in
Thunder was calling my name
Threatening sleep

Today the city is calm
The wind is at rest
The sun
Is gracing us with its presence
Cars speed past
Children are outside
Running and playing and singing
Birds are chirping their Spring Song

There’s no sign at all
Of any damage that may have been done

********************************************

Are You Listening?

Oh quiet night!
Why must you torture me?

I long for the buzzing of lights
The revving of car engines
And late-night conversations

After all
That’s why I moved to the city

Day 23. I never wear hats.

Seeing as I'm unemployed I could have chosen a number of "hats" for today's Read Write Poem prompt, but this came to me immediately after reading the prompt, so I went with it. Please note that while I'm unemployed I do not actually sleep until noon. That's just how the line came to me. LOL

A Different Hat

Instead of sleeping
Until noon
I rise early

Feed the baby
And send my husband
Off to work

Wife, mother, homemaker

I make a living
Protecting
The things that I love

Day 22. Wednesday. Earth Day. List Day. Cubs Game.

I cheated a little on the Read Write Poem prompt. All of my books of poetry are currently in storage so I just picked five of my favorite poems. The lines that belong to other poets are in color, and the poets and their poems are listed at the end. Now, I have a Cubs game to go get ready for :) Happy Earth Day!

Speak

I take my seat
Among the many passengers
Through the window
I can see people
Caught
Under the brown fog of a winter dawn
They don’t speak to me
They’re eyes are hollow
They don’t understand

In front of me are signs
Maximum Capacity 312
All baggage must be stored overhead
Emergency Exit located on the left
Emergency exit…
The words swim around in my head
This is my exit
I’ve boarded the train, there’s no getting off
Not for me

There’s a rumble in my stomach
Nerves perhaps
No
It speaks
It’s the memory of all the things
We used to be
Struggling to get out of me
Memories…
We loved with a love that was more than love

I run down the list of reasons
Weighing out the consequences
The smell of winter on your skin
Is all that I’ll truly miss
I’ll draw you a map
If you want me
You can follow me
There’s a place where the sidewalk ends
That’s where I’ll be waiting

The train begins to fill
I can sense we will soon
Be moving
I avoid the eyes
Of the empty people around me
Instead I stare at the space in front of me
It speaks to me
Of two imaginary roads
And sorry I could not travel both


Under the brown fog of a winter dawn- T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land
I’ve boarded the train, there’s no getting off- Sylvia Plath, Metaphors
We loved with a love that was more than love- Edgar Allan Poe, Annabel Lee
There’s a place where the sidewalk ends- Shel Silverstein, Where The Sidewalk Ends
And sorry I could not travel both- Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

Day 21, a rite of passage and the trouble with titles.

I wish I could come up with titles for the poems I'm writing for NaPoWriMo. Maybe that will be the extended goal for next year. Look at me...already looking forward to the poetry insanity of next year :)

Rites of Passage, Untitled

You pulled
At the seams
Until I unraveled

Shut the door
And explained
You didn’t travel
All this way
To hand me over
To someone else

Used the memories
We created
To string together words
In a way I would understand

Lured me into your pattern
Without consent

Took my trust
In the palm of your hand
And crushed it
Right in front of me

Took the little girl fantasies
In my head
And exchanged them
For a dose of reality

A night
Neither one of us
Will ever forget

Rest assured-
Your grasp is permanent
Though your hold
Is slipping

Read Write Poem

Day 20. Two poems to fill the space.

I wrote two poems today. Both wre inspired by the same image, a texture print by pareeerica. Prompt courtesy of Read Write Poem.

*Garbage* Texture by pareeerica

Empty Spaces

The empty space
Seems so promising

But I can only promise
One thing

If you give me
Too many chances

I’ll mess it all up
I’ll take you for granted

I’ll leave you
Seeing red

The empty space
Means one thing

I take
More than I give

I’ve always been
A selfish girl

I have no intention
Of changing

I’m not deserving
Of your love

The empty space
Is a reminder

If we push any harder
The center won’t hold

We’ll both
End up alone

********************************************

The Spaces Between

There’s a space
Between the first time

And the last time
We met

I go over the scenes
In my head

Wondering –

What to do
What to say

What to wear
When I know
You’ll catch a glimpse
Of me

There’s a space
Between the moment
I started to fall in love

And you started slipping
Away

I had you so close

Now I only have you in
Dreams

Day 19. I can't believe I've been able to keep up!

I'm really surprised that I've been able to write at least one poem a day. I write every day, but usually just fragments. Some days have been challenging, but I'm really glad I decided to participate. Thanks to everyone who has stopped by to read or comment on my poems. The support is very much appreciated. And thanks to all of those who are sharing their poems as well. I've come across so many wonderful writers this month! And of course, thanks to the wonderful people over at Read Write Poem for everything they do.

This poem is about my first best friend, Shannon. For a year we were a dynamic duo. I miss her on a regular basis.

Shannon

You came into my life
In the middle of 2nd grade

Hop-scotch
King of the Mountain
Tag! You’re it

You were my first
Real best friend
Then you moved away
Your dad was in the Navy

Things were never the same for me

For a while
We kept in touch

Wrote letters
And sometimes our parents
Would allow us to make
Long-distance phone calls

Eventually
We ran out of things to say
The friendship faded
Or sailed away

I wonder if you ever think of me

Day 18. Word Salad

This was fun. I didn't have to work too hard on a Saturday morning. I might try to do another one later if I have time. Prompt details can be found at Read Write Poem.

Word Salad, Untitled


Beauty
And bitter armor

Plead
With the nemesis

Panic
At the signs

Empty
Is the pillow thief

Who can relish in
A life aggressive

Sweet are the fragments
Of love


My original list of 50 words: Nemesis, Bitter, Sweet, Sugar, Patch, Love, Relish, Honor, Thief, Tackle, Scales, Passive, Wisdom, Crane, Wealth, View, Flow, Aggressive, Youth, Contain, Fragments, Signs, Loss, Bend, Hinder, Rise, Low, Point, Master, Life, Missed, Temper, Slither, Court, Spent, Press, Spot, Pillow, Wipe, Panic, Empty, Width, Bask, Plead, Frosted, Glow, Armor, Beauty, Close.

Day 17. Am I missing something?

I am missing something. Inspiration. I think this poem suffers from a severe lack of inspiration. The only thing that I have to go on right now is sadness, loss, and desperation. I'm not really willing to go into that dark place right now so this is all I have to offer for today.

Missing, Untitled

I held it
In the palm of my hand

So close
I could taste it

Put it up to my lips
Then let it slip
Through the cracks
Between my fingers

I watched it fall
To the floor

I waited too long
I can’t see it anymore

But I know it’s still here
Caught somewhere
I just have to find it
It’s waiting for me

Read Write Poem

Day 16 and words just aren't enough.

Adore, v.

It doesn’t seem enough
Just to say it

I adore you

Adore...
This verb that rolls off my tongue

And then is gone
Something so temporary

I long to leave a permanent mark

I worship you from afar
Sometimes getting too close

As I try to push this love

Further along

Read Write Poem

Day 15. Tax Day. List Day. Procrastinating is my specialty.

The Instead List, Untitled

You called

I should have called you back
Should have been a good friend
Should have explained
(Everything)

Instead
I came up with excuses
Reasons why you wouldn’t
Understand

Because I was afraid

I folded the laundry,
Did the dishes,
Had a drink,
And then another,
(And then another)

I wrote a letter
I had no intention of sending

I put your songs on repeat
Just to hear your voice

I listened to your
Previous messages
Over and over
Until I memorized
Every syllable
Every heart-felt sigh

And then I cried

You called
I should have called you back

Instead
I convinced myself
You would be better off
Without me

Wednesday is List Day over at Read Write Poem.

Day 14. Animis Parati

Large Poultry. Taken on a road trip to Iowa.

Animis Parati

It’s a long stretch
Of road

Tumbleweeds
Attempt to attack us

I take photographs
To document the journey

We stop
As little as possible

It’s a matter of
Time constraints

Leaving a little bit
Of ourselves in everything

I fall in love with you
All over again

My heart is prepared,
I’m ready for anything


Read Write Poem

Day 13. I'm calling for you.

Today's offering, a lune. It's been a long day. I spent most of it getting rained on while watching the Cubs beat the Rockies and now I'm a bit tipsy. Apologies.

I'm Calling For You

If you listen
closely, you can hear me
in the wind

Read Write Poem

Day 12. From What I Remember

From What I Remember

From what I
Remember
Coffee
Was a religion
Cigarettes
A way of life

In the bathroom
A porcelain tub
With tiny cracks
Held the family secrets

Funerals masqueraded
As family reunions

The dishes would pile up
In the sink
Until there was a reason
To wash them

Stop!
Was another word for Go
Between supposed friends

I love you
Lost all meaning

Husbands told lies
That wives pretended
To believe

Children would dream
Of getting out

I just wanted to make
Ray Bradbury proud


Read Write Poem

Day 11. Let's go to the movies.

Once again, a prompt brought to you by the good people at Read Write Poem. Mine was inspired by the movie Coraline.

Coraline, Untitled

I walk with you
Through the house
Helping you search
For your secrets

Instead I find my own

There are some
In the cupboard
Some under the floor

I had forgotten where I hid them

And the hallway
I never feared
Roaming at night

It led to some
Alternate universe
Something posing as
A parallel life

On one side
I was forced
To sleep
In order to hold on
To such pleasant dreams

On the other side
They built me a city
Where all of my dreams
Could come true

Day 10. A haiku hangs with headlines disquised as Found Poems.

I like to take pictures of trees. They've always fascinated me.

Haiku, Untitled

The tree stands, unknown
Branches reaching toward Heaven
Leaves hunger for wind

**********************************************

Found Poem, Untitled I

Romeo
Is late for dinner

Just a king for his time

Capturing
The outlines
Of an exuberant universe


Found Poem, Untitled II

Panties,
squirrels,
and lots of ammo

Champagne
before breakfast
and other fantasies

What waiters talk about
when diners are waiting

Please note: My found poems were created using headlines from the April 10th, 2009 online edition of the New York Times. All headlines were taken from the Arts section.

Prompt courtesy of Read Write Poem.

Day 9: Dreaming of Paradise

Paradise, in couplets. Untitled. It might be obvious to those who know me, but this was written about Wrigley Field in Chicago. Home to the Cubs. Home to me. Writing prompt courtesy of Read Write Poem.

Paradise, Untitled

There is no place I know
Where the grass is greener

The sky is blue
The sun shines bright

Even in a rain delay
Mind over matter they tell me

Besides, people only see
What they want to see

All I know is
It feels like home

The space between us
Is lined with chairs

Rows and rows
Waiting patiently to be filled

When I’m there
I’m never alone

But I always feel
Like the only one

Bases loaded
It’s been too long

I’d stay forever
If they would let me

You’re in my heart
I must get back to you

It's Day 8 and I'm Up In Flames with Heather.

Two poems today. Conjuring up unflattering images of my exes was easy; taking responsibility for my own actions wasn't. If this poem seems a little one-sided, it's probably because it is. Completely unintentional, I swear.

Up In Flames

Maybe when I bent
It wasn’t back far enough
And you couldn’t tell
I was bending for you

Or maybe you thought
I took you for granted
A creature of habit
I let the spark fade

You’re the one that got away

Maybe I wasn’t enough
You always wanted
Bigger
And better things

Or maybe I was too good
You couldn’t bear
To hold me back
For one more second

I’m the one that got away

******************************************************
This was written about one of my exes, but titled after a friend's ex.

Heather

I can still see
The look in your eyes
As my famous last words
Became suspended
Frozen in time

I tried to catch them
But they were cold
To the touch

I never meant to hurt you


Side Note: I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who has come by to read my poems, commented on them, or emailed me. I really appreciate the support. And thanks to Read Write Poem for the daily prompts.

Day 7. Did someone say nicknames? Because I've had many.

Today was tough. I had many ideas, but nothing seemed to come of them. I hate that I've been relying on the Read Write Poem prompts so much, but I am very thankful to have them available. Today they suggested the nickname prompt, of which I've had many. Some that have stuck are Sweet Pea, Bunny, Pepper, Jez, and J-Dogg 4. The ones that appear in this poem were given to me by my family. Boo is what my mother calls me, Princess is what my father calls me, and Jess is what my brother calls me. For the longest time he was the only one allowed to call me Jess; now it's what most people call me. I apologize for the epic explanation.

I Have Been

My real name is Jessica

I have been
Boo
She who always
Put family first
Carried her fair share
Of the load
Always came home on time

And never once
Disappointed her mother

I have been
Princess
A bookworm
Reading by flashlight
Under the covers
Waiting for her father
To make it right

Because Jessica gave up
A long time ago

I have been
Jess
The big sister
Huddled in bed
Arms tight around
Her little brother
Waiting for the fighting to end

That’s still me
I am who I’ve always been

It's day six and I'm nothing but bones.

The Laugh by Pensiero

Day 6, Poem 6.

Inspiration courtesy of Pensiero's The Laugh and readwritepoem.com.

Nothing but Bones

You stand alone
No excess baggage
As passersby
Keep passing by

They pretend
You go unnoticed
Pretend to look
Right through you

No one bothers
To comment
On how thin you look
But they think to themselves
Nothing but bones

You smile,
Then laugh
Because you know
One day they’ll be
Nothing but bones too

Losing Momentum. Gaining Speed.

It's day five and I'm already losing momentum. Hopefully a burst of creativity will spark within the next few days. On the bright side, once I get an idea that I like the poem does seem to evolve faster than usual for me. I take the good with the bad and hope something half way decent comes out. A side note: Italicized words are from the readwritepoem.com prompt for today. The complete list of words I had to choose from is located at the bottom of this posting. Now, without further ado, here is today's installment:

A Series of Meaningless Events

Wipe this

Empty that

Love, honor, cherish

Measure the width
Between two distances,
Come up empty

Bask in the glow

Watch that temper

Remember to breathe

Slither into bed

Plead with the pillow

Wake up,
Alone

Here is the list of words I had to choose from: Nemesis, Bitter, Sweet, Sugar, Patch, Love, Relish, Honor, Thief, Tackle, Scales, Passive, Wisdom, Crane, Wealth, View, Flow, Aggressive, Youth, Contain, Fragments, Signs, Loss, Bend, Hinder, Rise, Low, Point, Master, Life, Missed, Temper, Slither, Court, Spent, Press, Spot, Pillow, Wipe, Panic, Empty, Width, Bask, Plead, Frosted, Glow, Armor, Beauty, Close.

Day 4...

I'm not particularly happy with poem #4 for NaPoWriMo, but I'm pressed for time today. This was written in less than 15 minutes, so I guess I can't complain.

A Glossy Ruin

Brick homes
That once seemed so
Indestructible
Have been successfully blown down
By the Big Bad Wolf

Cars slip into vast holes
Courtesy of black ice
No
It’s Black Honey
And it tastes good

Children dream
Of the bright side
Adults pretend
There’s something to look forward to
On the other side of the rainbow

A world full of Mimosa Blossoms
And Pink Champagne

A brief side note: I went to the mall today looking for a lipgloss called Black Honey. After purchasing it I decided that I wanted to work Black Honey into my poem somehow. On the drive home I tried to come up with some ideas, but was unsuccessful. When I got home I immediately checked readwritepoem.com to see the prompt for today. The site suggested using paint color names or eyeshadow names and linked to the Clinique website. Coincidentally the gloss I purchased was from Clinique. I thought it was fate, so I used gloss names.

And then there were three...

With this being day three of NaPoWriMo readwritepoem.org suggested the poetry prompt of "three in a row". I decided to write three lunes. Short and sweet, plus I they're a bit of a change for me considering I never write lunes.

#1
My heels, unsteady
falling fast into the cracks
a welcomed distraction

#2
Hold on tight
I can shake you off
at any time

#3
Saint Peter waits
put in a good word
for me, please

No pictures. Just words.

National Poetry Month
Poem2

Torabelle

I imagine
her name,
face,
date of birth.
All the defining characteristics
that make her so attractive.

I imagine the way
she looks up from a book
the moment you
walk into the room.

I imagine your eyes
so fixed on her body
you forget all about me.

I breathe a sigh of relief.
I don’t have to disappoint you tonight.

I piece the fragments
together.
Think back
to when the phone calls
stopped coming in.
Pinpoint
the exact moment
you fell in love with her.
It makes me quite sick.

I imagine
her being incredibly delicious,
irresistible even.
The exact opposite of me.
I’m hard to swallow,
easy to forget.

Replaceable,
or so it would seem.

Side note: I don’t normally use punctuation in my poetry, but I know people who do and I’ve always envied them. I thought it would be fun to give it a try. It wasn’t.

April is National Poetry Month

To celebrate I am going to write at least one poem a day for the month of April. This will be a challenge for me. I was going to start off with a Lune, but pieces of this came to me in the middle of the night so I decided to go with it.

Untitled

Lights are flashing
Nerves take over

Everything beyond touch
Is left patiently waiting

Elsewhere,
Heaven is crashing into stars