Sunday, December 13, 2009
New Lola Pics!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
January is Foretelling
I went out to an early birthday celebration with co-workers and still made it home in time to get in my final poem for the December Mini-Poetry Challenge. Writing is definitely one way to make it through the holidays.
January is Foretelling
The first person you kiss
Is the person you’ll spend
The rest of the year with
And it could end something tragic
But there’s magic in that moment
The fortune cookie of the calendar
The bearer of new beginnings
All things in place
And determined to do things differently
The next time around
It’s going to be a good year
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
December is Forgetting
December is Forgetting
I’ll get lost in the hustle
And frenzy
Holiday storefronts
Will offer some form of relief
From lovesickness
There will be moments
When I won’t even think of you
Moments when I struggle
For the memories
Moments when I feel no pain
No one ever says
How easy it can be to forget
But if you ask me
Time heals nothing
It’s December that washes the slate clean
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
November is Forgiving
November is Forgiving
Boys always go for the same things
My bottom lip
And something I can’t mention
In polite company
He was no different
When I thought I had lost him forever
November brought him back to me
Giving me something to be thankful for
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Truths and Lies at 4 a.m.
Essay 1:
At 4 a.m. he held me captive. Well not so much captive as against my will. Well not so much my will, but against my better judgment. This is not to say I didn’t want to be with him. I just didn’t think this is where I would end up when the night was over; though I had hoped for it.
He took a seat on the couch and urged me to sit down next to him. So much closer than the last time we were in this situation. It didn’t take long for him to press his lips against mine and I didn’t fight. I was thankful for this second chance.
We shifted for hours; me on top of him, him on top of me, our lips barely parting, but our bodies barely crossing the line past PG-13. He fell asleep with his arms around me.
***
Essay 2:
At 4 a.m. I left his house and headed to my own home. As I walked through the door I was immediately overcome with loneliness; wishing I had stayed with him longer. All night I told myself I wouldn’t go home with him. I wouldn’t let myself fall back into his trap. Last time didn’t end well; a truth I have had to remind myself of often.
I took off my makeup, changed into sleeping clothes, and curled up on the couch with my dog. I fell sleep imagining him with his arms around me and had the sweetest dreams. His lips pressed against mine, his hands shifting to experience every curve of my body, my hands running from his head to his shoulders to his chest.
In the morning I wondered why reality couldn’t be as gentle as this, but this was pure fiction and only in my head.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
A Moment of Truth about You...
Don't waste your words on me unless you have something important to say.
Apparently I'm on a bit of an honesty kick! I really wish I could say that to someone specific right now. I don't have the courage. Instead I say it here and get it out into the world. I love my blog, my paper dreams, and all those other things.
Monday, November 16, 2009
A Moment of Truth: Work
What do you know about eels?
What Do You Know About Eels?
We were electric
Like eels, swimming
Through the water
Sending shocks to one another
I will remember you
Absorbing the energy
You can remember me
Leaving a trail of sparks
And a path of destruction
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Halloween!
My costume didn't turn out as I had hoped. My original concept was to be Alex from A Clockwork Orange if the movie had been made today and Alex was a girl. My makeup turned out great, though I don't have any pictures to prove it, but my outfit looked more like an 80's version of Madonna. I had tried to find a party dress because I wanted my Alex to be very girly; instead I settled on this tutu skirt from Forever 21 and cut up an old plain white t-shirt to use as the top. It was a fun costume, mostly because of the skirt, I just wish I would have been able to execute my vision. Oh well; there's always next year!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sometimes the road leads to an unexpected destination.
Insomnia
My body is restless.
I can’t sleep.
My hands are fidgety.
I feel around.
My fingers trace folds
in the blankets
until I get to your side.
The journey is long
and when I get there
you’re nowhere to be found.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Because the world doesn't always revolve around me.
Revolves
We moved too fast
The universe rotating around us
We were performers
The world, our circus
The moon still our witness
As wheels still spin the secrets
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Cutting Up! RWP Prompt #97
Metaphors No More
Loaf’s nine means
Fruit train, big timber house
Yeasty tendrils rising, strolling
New-minted apples
Bag getting elephant
Melon red stage syllables
Money’s ivory fat cow
Two fine eaten green calf
Ponderous boarded riddle
************************************
I Lost It All
Poor reimbursed banker
God
Burglar
Father never stood much
Sod
Beggar
Lost door store
Angels descending twice
Monday, October 19, 2009
Just catching up...
I got sick right before the wedding and managed to stay well enough to have a great time through all the festivities. After the wedding however, the cold or flu, I'm not really sure what it was, completely took over.
Here's a picture of one of the bouqets that I thought I would share just for fun.
I didn't get to take as many pictures as I would have liked; I was too busy being involved in the wedding and trying to take in as much as possible. I still can't believe my little brother is married, but he couldn't have picked a better wife. I'm so happy for both of them. I know they will have an amazing life together and I hope they get started on those babies soon because I can't wait to be Aunt Jessica!
I'm working on my Read Write Poem prompt for this week and I hope to have it completed by Thursday. My original idea for the prompt didn't work out so I had to start over. Wish me luck!
I think that's about all for now.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Six Word Saturday
There's only you.
There's only me.
Read Fiona Robyn's new book Thaw for FREE!!!
Fiona Robyn is making her new book Thaw available online for free. Pretty exciting huh? You can be a part of the fun by joining Friends of Thaw and participating in her Blogsplash by using your blog to make others aware of the book.
More details can be found on Fiona's website. You can also read the first page of the book here.
The fun officially begins on March 1st, 2010, but it's never too early to start spreading the word. I think I'll blog a few more times about the book as a reminder and I hope you'll decide to join the Blogsplash too!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The Botanic Garden. Time well spent.
Erick and I went to the Botanic Garden today. It was a great time. I took almost 200 pictures and while I won't be posting them all here, I thought I would share a few of my favorites. It's been a while since I posted random pics on this site and I miss discovering new and beautiful things and sharing them with those who visit my blog.
We both decided that we need to make a conscious effort to get back to the BG a few times a year. It's a great place to go for inspiration and a great way to spend a day off. If you're in the Chicago area and haven't been to the Botanic Garden in a while, or ever, I suggest you get out there soon. It was a little chilly today and it started raining toward the end, but it was still a wonderful visit.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I finished early - A massive artillery.
Artillery
Don’t ask me what I see when I look at you. It saddens me to admit my feelings have changed. I’m fighting hard to push you away, but you won’t take the bait. Let me make this very clear so there’s no miscommunication. When I say don’t make this so hard on yourself what I really mean is don’t make this so hard on me. I’ve already moved on. I don’t mind saying it out loud if that’s what you need. My gun is drawn. My ammunition is ready.
My Angel and My Devil by Thomas Hawk
Monday, September 21, 2009
Destined
Destined
We fought fate
The powers that be
The cosmic balance of things
Whatever that means
Your words; not mine
Not exactly
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
What I Want To Remember
What I Want To Remember
If I think hard enough
I can will myself back
Into my grandmother’s kitchen
Sitting at the table
Coffee and Ritz crackers for breakfast
Waiting for my mother to come home
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Listen Up!
Eavesdropping 5
You said many things
Over the course of our relationship
Three amazing weeks
That I will never forget
But in the end all I really heard was this:
It’s not you, it’s me
Friday, September 4, 2009
My 100th post and listen closely...
This is also my fourth poem for the Read Write Poem Poetry Mini-Challenge.
Drip
Drip
Drip
The coffee make
The leaky ceiling
The tears falling from this face
Onto college-ruled paper
Drip
Drip
Drip
And disappearing into nothingness
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Do you hear what I hear?
Eavesdropping 3
Two girls sit behind me
Whispering
Swapping secrets like there’s no
Tomorrow
I can’t see their faces
And I’m too afraid to turn around
For fear they will stop speaking
I wait patiently
Ignoring the whiz of cars flying past
And the woman two seats over yelling
Obscenities into her cell phone
Slowly I hear the words
Begin to seep from her mouth
I know they were once my own
You can’t tell anyone but technically
She pauses for a moment
Technically
I never said no
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Still listening...
Eavesdropping 2
There’s a buzz
And a flickering of the lights above us
They’re about to go out
I was deep in the desperation
Of other people’s confessions
Comparing them to my own
Almost certain what I was hearing
Should never be repeated in a public forum
When she took the seat next to me
Then the satisfying and familiar slide of the zipper
As she pushed it further along
Sliding items into her bag
Back
Then further back
And back some more until it reached the end
I could tell from the look in her eyes that she
Wished she could throw herself into that bag
And hide forever
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Listen...
Eavesdropping 1
We get tossed around
But these wheels they keep on turning
A mechanical voice comes
Over the airwaves
Next Stop: Wellington
We listen for further instructions
Doors open on the left at Wellington
Transfer to purple line trains at Wellington
Doors open, doors close
Squeaking, in desperate in of oil
Kings of Leon drowns it all out for me
I hope it’s gonna make you notice
I hope it’s gonna make you notice
Someone like me…
I get lost in the lyrics
Then shaken back to reality
Next stop: Fullerton
Next stop…
That’s me
Monday, August 31, 2009
I Won't Write About You
I won’t write about you
Until you’re out of my system
In the meantime
I’ll use someone else’s words
I wanted to make this longer. To list all of the reasons I won't write about you, but then I realized that I would be going against my word; so this is all you get. Take it or leave it. You'll probably leave it.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
89
Prolonging the Life of Berries
Eat.
Pray.
Love.
Then what?
Get married.
Here are the links to the two articles that I got the headlines from:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/20/books/20book.html?ref=books
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/26/dining/26curi.html?ref=style
Thursday, August 20, 2009
88
In dreams this has the potential
To be more than a fling
In reality I’m too afraid to be the
Outer spoon
I don’t even like spooning
So I push you away
Press stop on the recorder
But not before coarse words
Fly out of busy mouths
In a bustle of lust
Making their way
Out of windows
And onto busy streets
Floating to where you first
Put your arm around me
I didn’t look back to see
If anyone was watching
The Word List: Spoon, fling, bustle, coarse, elocution, homeward, froth, salacious, hitch, rancid, 8-track, coagulate, diode, rant.
The Chosen Few: Spoon, fling, bustle, coarse.
Prompt Details
Monday, August 17, 2009
I don't know what I'm waiting for...
I can still feel your lips on my neck as
your hands struggle with the guilty straps
of my dress
Fingers surveying my body
I love this quick heartbeat
This lump in my throat
I only hope you’ll come back for more
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Ooh la la or calling number 87
You want me to drape myself
in your absence.
Discuss politics and make you
lasagna for breakfast
You want me to allow myself
to enter into an abscess
of the air you breathe
You want to become an
extension of me
You want apostrophes
And angels and apologies
You want arsenal to launch
You want too much
You want to get off at Addison,
Armitage or Belmont
I want to keep going
See the anatomy of an
aerial view
Thursday, August 6, 2009
The Harvest Series comes to an end.
Dinner isn’t the meal in front of us
It’s the conversation we consume
Without regret
Without fear of getting caught
This is wrong
And we’re in the thick of it
We walk down the street
There’s no shame in our faces
My hand brushes your arm
Our legs touch
We have yet to consider
the consequences
Read Write Poem Poetry Mini-Challenge Details
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
RWP Poetry Mini-Challenge Day Two.
The Harvest Series
Poem #2
There was a time
When the news arrived
On my doorstep in pieces
I got the leftovers
The bits no one else seemed to care for
The ink would stain my hands
I trace the frayed edges newspaper clippings
With my fingertips
And whisper there’s no place like home
Read Write Poem Poetry Mini-Challenge Details
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
RWP has done it again!
Here's a link to the challenge details because time is precious and I'm too lazy to write it all out. Besides, I'm trying to pump out three poems in three days here people...I'm sure you can understand.
I'm calling my series for this first Poetry Mini-Challenge Harvest; which is a synonym of the word Cull. I chose the word harvest because when I wrote down the synonyms for the three words suggested it was the first one to jump out at me. This first poem for the series is of course untitled because as we all know I'm terrible at coming up with titles.
Thanks as always for stopping by, reading, commenting, and being a part of my support system. Also, if you haven't already visiting the new Read Write Poem site please do so soon. It's even more amazing then before. Now for the goods:
I remember trekking in leaves
Tokens of the day’s journey
Mom called it reckless
Packing leaves into garbage bags
The faces of jack ‘o lanterns printed on them
I called it festive
Trips in cars to visit long-time friends
Before I understood what stabbed in the back meant
Mom called them lessons
Packing cars with blankets and pillows and snacks
To visit Auntie in the hospital
I called those our last goodbyes
Perusing sales racks and window-shopping
Taking shelter in separate rooms
Mom called it survival
Packing boxes and driving away
A form of escape
I called it self-preservation
Poetry Mini-Challenge Details
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Great prompt. Great picture. Not-so-great poem.
Cemetery in Malvern by Doug Shaver
In Cemeteries with Ghosts
Sitting in the grass we grasp at
handfuls of Spring blades
(Or is it Fall; I can’t keep track)
Hold them in the palms of our hands
Let the wind float them to another dimension
We used to be afraid of the dark and ghosts
Now we’re all grown up and afraid of death
It feels silly to admit, but I’m still afraid of spiders
We have hidden agendas
We have heads full of hopes
And dreams
And disappointments
We’ll bury them tonight is this warehouse of strangers
We don’t know these people
Who they were; who they wanted to be
We trace the names carved with such precision
Make up stories about the lives they lived and share them
Via telepathy
Lucky to have the kind of friendship
that doesn’t need words
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Dear RWP and getting my poem on with words, words, words!
We became such good friends during NaPoWriMo, now we hardly see each other. You were amazing, offering inspiration when I needed it the most. It's not that I don't need you anymore, time just isn't on our side. Still, I want you to know that I think of you often and fondly. Please accept this small poem as a token of my affection, inspired by your wonderful Wordle prompt:
Love Slump
Hearts loiter in the sky
Flaming
Lost
Calling for a séance
Caught in a love slump
The words in this prompt were fantastic. I used almost all of them. Words used from the prompt are as follows: hearts, loiter, sky, flaming, lost, séance, slump.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Life in a time capsule.
Pictures (family, friends, and my dog Lola): because I love them.
Charlotte’s Web and To Kill a Mockingbird: because they are my favorite books.
Fiona Apple CDs: because she is my favorite musician.
An old journal: so the person who finds my capsule can read about my life.
Copies of some of the poems I’ve written: because I like to pretend I’m a poet!
Mark, my stuffed bear: because Piglet is too important to me.
Tarot cards: because they remind me of high school.
A pen and blank notebook: because I always have a pen and paper on me.
Mardi Gras beads: because they are fun!
Hair ties: because I always wear them around my wrists.
Stargazer lilies and red roses: because they are my favorite flowers.
Vanilla scented candles: because I love vanilla scented things.
Copy of my birth certificate: proof that I existed.
My Dwight bobblehead doll: because The Office is my all-time favorite show.
An empty Starbucks cup: because I love coffee!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
H2O; Ten Years Later
As a treat for letting me vent, here is a poem:
Ten Years Later
I collect reasons to love you
Place them in drawers
Hide them in corners
Wherever I turn I’m forced
to remember, when what I really want
is to forget
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
For you. A day late. Next week/last week.
Dear You,
Last week I gave in to someone else’s touch. He reached for me and I was too lonely to resist. I thought about you the whole time.
Next week I’ll pretend it didn’t happen. And if you ask me, I’ll deny it. We'll both know the truth.
XOXO,
Me
Friday, July 3, 2009
Sprouting Up Roots
Sprouting Up Roots
I'm a meat and potatoes lovin' kind of girl
What could be more American than that?
Baseball
Apple pie
I adore those things too
To some
I'm just another foreigner
Sprouting up roots
In the soil that belonged
To their forefathers
Theirs,
Not mine
After all,
I have no ties to George Washington
No link to Thomas Jefferson
I listen to excuse after excuse
And bite my tongue
I play along
Pretend it doesn't matter what others think
Try to ignore the fact that it really does matter to me
Push myself further along
Toward the American Dream
All the while
Longing
To sink my hands into the dirt
Plant the seeds
That my grandmother
Gave me as a little girl,
Grow a history
To make my ancestors proud
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Lola in a dress.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Six Word Tuesday?
6.20.2009
Heavy artillery unpreparedness, forgotten bulletproof vest
Sunday, June 21, 2009
I had the One-Minute Writing of the Day!!!
I am honored to have my piece Stage Fright chosen as the One-Minute Writing of the Day for the Friday Fiction prompt over at The One-Minute Writer. Honestly, words cannot describe how proud I am right now. I have been following this blog for a few months and have come across some really talented writers, so to have the One-Minute Writing of the Day is a great honor to me. Please head over to the site and see the amazing daily writings that people choose to share.
Thanks so much to C. Beth for choosing my piece and thank you to all of those who continue to support my writing efforts. Every comment, email, and visitor is greatly appreciated.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Turning fact into fiction.
Stage Fright
The bright lights hit his face. It burns. A warm, steady burn so familiar it feels like an old friend. His leg is twitching. He can’t seem to stop it. Nerves, he tells himself. He’s done this a thousand times before, but never like this. Never with her.
She always said she would come, but never did. This time is different. This time she promised. Not just any promise; the cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die, stick-a-needle-in-my-eye kind of promise that children believe in. And he wanted to believe it.
The anticipation builds. His heart sinks into his stomach. The curtain opens. He scans the crowd.
It has sort of a cliffhanger ending, but I promise in real life the ending was a happy one. I didn't want it to get sappy and I wanted to keep it short. This certainly took over a minute to write, but it was under five.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Hindsight isn't always 20/20...
Another great prompt from The One-Minute Writer, http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/
I apologize in advance for the rhyming. I have been challenged by a fellow writer to rhyme more in my pieces. I always think rhyming comes off as being very cliche, but I have accepted the challenge, at least for today. And in this case I think it came off more sappy and crappy than cliche. To be completely honest, I really like the first stanza, but the second is just...YUCK! But hey, it was written in one minute and I was struggling to rhyme; all things considered it isn't horrible. It might be bad or generic, but not horrible. LOL!
20/20
If I could go back
to when all wasn't lost
and tell myself that the price of love
is usually worth the cost
I would save up my pennies
until the day I met you
and cash them in
on a dream come true
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
It takes discipline. I have none.
In other news: I think I've officially decided to start a blog dedicated to poetry. I say "think" because the only thing really holding me back is what to call it. I have a hard enough time naming my pieces, most of them end up untitled, so this is going to be a tough one. As always, I'm open to suggestions.
Discipline
I used to know how to avoid you
How to pretend you didn’t exist
You filled me up with promises
I tried hard to resist
Once so disciplined
Now I can’t get you out of my head
I missed my chance
Thursday, June 11, 2009
It's been a crazy week. I must remember to breathe.
I fell in love
With the sound of your breath
I’m sure you never noticed
Such calm beauty
I’m going to miss it
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Happiness and its Nemesis
Happiness and its Nemesis
A summer morning
Flesh on flesh
Lemonade dripping from your lips
A hand slowly slipping up my leg
The sun, a witness to our innocence
Fingerprints drawing a path on my skin
I think to myself
I want to live in this moment
Then you whisper in my ear
You are nothing without me
*************************************************
Happiness
A summer morning
Lemonade
Dripping from your lips
The sun, a witness to our innocence
I think to myself
I want to live in this moment
**************************************************
Nemesis
Flesh on flesh
A hand slowly slipping
Up my leg
Fingerprints drawing a path on my skin
Then you whisper in my ear
You are nothing without me
So many ideas, so little time...
It didn’t take long
For you to become infatuated
With my lips
It didn’t take long
For you to become disenchanted
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Collecting thoughts
Collecting Thoughts
Messages in bottles
Love letters written in sand
The waves come crashing
Pull them in with watery precision
They arrive on my doorstep
in pieces
Shattered, torn, broken
Marked: Return to Sender
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
An observation on the life of a waitress.
Waitress
Outside, she steadies herself
against the brick of a deceptive
Hollywood background reflection
Chicago wind dances
through curls, bleached white
time after time
A Betty
Gladys
Or Annette
Index and middle fingers firm
around a long, slim cigarette
Dreaming long lost
dreams with each inhale
With each exhale, wondering
where the time went
Monday, May 25, 2009
Promises, promises...
My Promise to You
I’ll pull together all of our
false starts
Toss them in my pocket
The next time it rains
I’ll let the sky wash them away
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I’m the narrator and this is just the prologue, a.k.a. Read Write Poem revisited
Mosaic
Carve it into the backs
Of my eyelids
So I can see it
When I’m dreaming
Slither it underneath my skin
By way of willful needles
Whatever you have to do
Just leave a lasting impression
Scorching hot
Burn it into my mind
Granular tokens
Of belittled affection
The fence has been lowered
The guard is off duty
I will excrete nothing
Your secret is safe with me
In this mosaic
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
I miss having time to do nothing.
Untitled V
I miss
Late night confessions
Mixed with a little white zin
By little I mean three or four glasses
Enough to admit my deepest sins
I miss dreaming of you until morning
I know it's not a good piece with as long as I've been absent, but it's a start. Now, it's off to bed for me.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
A sky for new beginnings.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Waiting...waiting...writing...writing...passing the time.
Maintains the Memories
Time-
My nemesis
It maintains the memories
I’ve tried so hard to forget
and the ones I cherish
If it drops
It will shatter
Memories will be lost
forever
I will refuse to mourn them
************************************
Untitled IIIA wolf in sheep’s clothes
I reach for you
I’m not that kind of girl
I’m not that kind of girl
************************************
Untitled IV
When the excitement has faded
When contentment has worn off
What will we have left?
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
New job, small poem, and life as a cynic.
I found out yesterday that I'm going to have another poem published in The Cynic Online Magazine. My poem, Sprouting Up Roots, will be featured in the Cafe Del Soul section of the July issue of the online magazine. I'll post the link to the poem when the time comes. I'm really excited. It's nice to be able to see my work on a site that doesn't belong to me. It helps to push me toward submitting more of my work to publications.
I wrote a small piece the other day and didn't post it because I thought I might try to re-work it in some way. I can't seem to make any changes so I'm going to go ahead and post it. If for some reason I end up changing it down the road I'll just post the new version too. I've been obsessed with touch lately...people might start to notice.
Untitled
Did you even notice
that I touched you?
(Between heavy breathes
and heartbeats)
It's the science of love
we have yet to perfect.
Monday, May 4, 2009
A busy day, a short poem.
Untitled
I want to have a conversation
Without peeling back the words
Without eliminating the ones that beg
For physical contact, a safety precaution
Because they make me seem desperate
I want you to touch me
Friday, May 1, 2009
Saw The Killers last night, fell in love all over again, wrote a poem, and things unrelated.
Rhetoric
The words course through my veins
Like blood
Pumping...
I need this to live
Saw The Killers in Milwaukee last night. They were amazing! I swear every time I listen to one of their songs I fall in love...and when I get lucky enough to see them live...well, very little compares. Oh how I heart Brandon Flowers.
In unrelated news: I've been flirting with the idea of starting a new blog; one that will be for poetry and prose of the shorter nature. I usually write longer pieces, but I've found a lot of comfort in some of the smaller pieces I've been writing lately. I thought I would dedicate another blog to those musings and also allow other people to post their smaller pieces as well. Then I would keep this blog for my more "developed" pieces and thoughts and random junk in the maze that I call Life. Just an idea. We'll have to wait and see if it goes anywhere.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Day 30 and the bittersweet end of NaPoWriMo.
Bittersweet
She carries leftover conversations
In the palm of her hand
The beginnings
Middles
And ends
Of time well spent
In hospital rooms, visiting
Her sick grandmother
In bunk beds, reassuring
Her younger brother
In late-night phone calls, made
To her mother
Just to say hello
It’s always been her job
To handle the clean-up
Pull all the words together
Make something tangible from them
*The line carries leftover conversations was taken from the Leave A Line, Take A Line entry on Read Write Poem. The line was posted by Deb at stoneymoss.org.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Day 29. I don't think I can make it, so tell me how it ends.
Tell Me How It Ends
Take another step
Keep up
Wait
I always pay close attention
to your instructions
I’m not as strong as you are
You tell me how to cope
You tell me how to hope
You tell me how to breathe
Seems I can’t do anything without you
walking me through the motions
I can’t make the pieces fit
Or get that voice out of my head
That annoying little engine
coaxing me to recite over and over again,
I think I can
I think I can
When we both know I can’t
Just tell me how the story ends
Do I make it over the mountain?
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Day 28. Nearing the end and my writing has turned to crap.
Nocturnal
I used to dream in red
about changing the world
I thought I was special
Now I dream in black and white
about unrequited love,
only to realize I’m the same
as everyone else
******************************************
A Crimson List
I sit down,
make a list of all the things I’ll need
A mixer
for tossing in sins
A notebook
For keeping secrets,
generating scarlet letters,
and confessions
A vacuum
for destroying the remnants
of our failures
Candles
for melting the evidence
The red line train
for escaping
All of the items are red
because red demands attention
Satisfied,
I put the plan into action
Monday, April 27, 2009
Day 27. Written in less than five minutes, using supplied words.
Using Supplied Words
I am leaking through veins
Supplied by lack of ammunition
I’m the wicked backwards cadence
Nascent
I value all my specimens
And relish
In acts of impossible lunacy
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Day 26. It has been a rainy weekend.
I didn't follow the Read Write Poem prompt, but I did write a poem in response to one of Rumi's. The Rumi poem is listed first, courtesy of http://www.rumi.net/rumi_by_shiva.htm, followed by my poem.
Poem by Rumi
You think you are alive
because you breathe air?
Shame on you,
that you are alive in such a limited way.
Don't be without Love,
so you won't feel dead.
Die in Love
and stay alive forever.
*************************************
My Response, Untitled
I know I am alive
because I breathe air.
Shame on yourself,
never having learned the power of a deep breath.
I am not without love
and no one lives forever.
In fact, when I found life in love
part of me was already dead.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Day 25. This is not a how-to. It is not even close.
Liner Notes
I want to learn
How to play the piano
But you won’t teach me
A conflict of interest
Or so you say
I wonder what you’re so afraid of
I promise
If your hands should wander
From the keys
To my flesh
And I should find you
Impossible to resist
I’ll help you file away the regret
In the sheet music
What an honor! The Kreativ Blogger Award.
http://wobblyleggs.blogspot.com/
http://therer2doors-thespacebetweenwords.blogspot.com/
The award comes with a few responsibilities:
1. Post the award on your blog and link to the person who gave you the award.
2. List seven things you love.
3. Pass it on! List seven blogs you love and let those people know you’ve given them the award.
Seven Things That I Love
1. My Mom
2. My dog Lola
3. My incredible friends and family
4. The Office – Michael Scott Rules!
5. Starbucks – especially the tall vanilla latte
6. Baseball – Cubbies and Yankees!
7. Wine
Seven Blogs That I Love
1. a slice of life
some of the best poetry I have ever read
http://a-mus-ing.blogspot.com/
6. poetical bits
sometimes comedic, always brilliant
7. westering
Sarah Haliwell’s poetry site…simply amazing
http://knittingthewind-westering.blogspot.com/
Friday, April 24, 2009
Day 24. I’m listening to a Spring Song…are you listening?
Spring Song in the Windy City
Last night
The city was in shambles
Rain was banging on my windows
Begging to be let in
Thunder was calling my name
Threatening sleep
Today the city is calm
The wind is at rest
The sun
Is gracing us with its presence
Cars speed past
Children are outside
Running and playing and singing
Birds are chirping their Spring Song
There’s no sign at all
Of any damage that may have been done
********************************************
Are You Listening?
Oh quiet night!
Why must you torture me?
I long for the buzzing of lights
The revving of car engines
And late-night conversations
After all
That’s why I moved to the city
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Day 23. I never wear hats.
A Different Hat
Instead of sleeping
Until noon
I rise early
Feed the baby
And send my husband
Off to work
Wife, mother, homemaker
I make a living
Protecting
The things that I love
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Day 22. Wednesday. Earth Day. List Day. Cubs Game.
Speak
I take my seat
Among the many passengers
Through the window
I can see people
Caught
Under the brown fog of a winter dawn
They don’t speak to me
They’re eyes are hollow
They don’t understand
In front of me are signs
Maximum Capacity 312
All baggage must be stored overhead
Emergency Exit located on the left
Emergency exit…
The words swim around in my head
This is my exit
I’ve boarded the train, there’s no getting off
Not for me
There’s a rumble in my stomach
Nerves perhaps
No
It speaks
It’s the memory of all the things
We used to be
Struggling to get out of me
Memories…
We loved with a love that was more than love
I run down the list of reasons
Weighing out the consequences
The smell of winter on your skin
Is all that I’ll truly miss
I’ll draw you a map
If you want me
You can follow me
There’s a place where the sidewalk ends
That’s where I’ll be waiting
The train begins to fill
I can sense we will soon
Be moving
I avoid the eyes
Of the empty people around me
Instead I stare at the space in front of me
It speaks to me
Of two imaginary roads
And sorry I could not travel both
Under the brown fog of a winter dawn- T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land
I’ve boarded the train, there’s no getting off- Sylvia Plath, Metaphors
We loved with a love that was more than love- Edgar Allan Poe, Annabel Lee
There’s a place where the sidewalk ends- Shel Silverstein, Where The Sidewalk Ends
And sorry I could not travel both- Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Day 21, a rite of passage and the trouble with titles.
Rites of Passage, Untitled
You pulled
At the seams
Until I unraveled
Shut the door
And explained
You didn’t travel
All this way
To hand me over
To someone else
Used the memories
We created
To string together words
In a way I would understand
Lured me into your pattern
Without consent
Took my trust
In the palm of your hand
And crushed it
Right in front of me
Took the little girl fantasies
In my head
And exchanged them
For a dose of reality
A night
Neither one of us
Will ever forget
Rest assured-
Your grasp is permanent
Though your hold
Is slipping
Monday, April 20, 2009
Day 20. Two poems to fill the space.
*Garbage* Texture by pareeerica
Empty Spaces
The empty space
Seems so promising
But I can only promise
One thing
If you give me
Too many chances
I’ll mess it all up
I’ll take you for granted
I’ll leave you
Seeing red
The empty space
Means one thing
I take
More than I give
I’ve always been
A selfish girl
I have no intention
Of changing
I’m not deserving
Of your love
The empty space
Is a reminder
If we push any harder
The center won’t hold
We’ll both
End up alone
********************************************
The Spaces Between
There’s a space
Between the first time
And the last time
We met
I go over the scenes
In my head
Wondering –
What to do
What to say
What to wear
When I know
You’ll catch a glimpse
Of me
There’s a space
Between the moment
I started to fall in love
And you started slipping
Away
I had you so close
Now I only have you in
Dreams
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Day 19. I can't believe I've been able to keep up!
This poem is about my first best friend, Shannon. For a year we were a dynamic duo. I miss her on a regular basis.
Shannon
You came into my life
In the middle of 2nd grade
Hop-scotch
King of the Mountain
Tag! You’re it
You were my first
Real best friend
Then you moved away
Your dad was in the Navy
Things were never the same for me
For a while
We kept in touch
Wrote letters
And sometimes our parents
Would allow us to make
Long-distance phone calls
Eventually
We ran out of things to say
The friendship faded
Or sailed away
I wonder if you ever think of me
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Day 18. Word Salad
Word Salad, Untitled
Beauty
And bitter armor
Plead
With the nemesis
Panic
At the signs
Empty
Is the pillow thief
Who can relish in
A life aggressive
Sweet are the fragments
Of love
My original list of 50 words: Nemesis, Bitter, Sweet, Sugar, Patch, Love, Relish, Honor, Thief, Tackle, Scales, Passive, Wisdom, Crane, Wealth, View, Flow, Aggressive, Youth, Contain, Fragments, Signs, Loss, Bend, Hinder, Rise, Low, Point, Master, Life, Missed, Temper, Slither, Court, Spent, Press, Spot, Pillow, Wipe, Panic, Empty, Width, Bask, Plead, Frosted, Glow, Armor, Beauty, Close.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Day 17. Am I missing something?
Missing, Untitled
I held it
In the palm of my hand
So close
I could taste it
Put it up to my lips
Then let it slip
Through the cracks
Between my fingers
I watched it fall
To the floor
I waited too long
I can’t see it anymore
But I know it’s still here
Caught somewhere
I just have to find it
It’s waiting for me
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Day 16 and words just aren't enough.
It doesn’t seem enough
Just to say it
I adore you
Adore...
This verb that rolls off my tongue
And then is gone
Something so temporary
I long to leave a permanent mark
I worship you from afar
Sometimes getting too close
As I try to push this love
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Day 15. Tax Day. List Day. Procrastinating is my specialty.
You called
I should have called you back
Should have been a good friend
Should have explained
(Everything)
Instead
I came up with excuses
Reasons why you wouldn’t
Understand
Because I was afraid
I folded the laundry,
Did the dishes,
Had a drink,
And then another,
(And then another)
I wrote a letter
I had no intention of sending
I put your songs on repeat
Just to hear your voice
I listened to your
Previous messages
Over and over
Until I memorized
Every syllable
Every heart-felt sigh
And then I cried
You called
I should have called you back
Instead
I convinced myself
You would be better off
Without me
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Day 14. Animis Parati
It’s a long stretch
Of road
Tumbleweeds
Attempt to attack us
I take photographs
To document the journey
We stop
As little as possible
It’s a matter of
Time constraints
Leaving a little bit
Of ourselves in everything
I fall in love with you
All over again
My heart is prepared,
I’m ready for anything
Read Write Poem
Monday, April 13, 2009
Day 13. I'm calling for you.
I'm Calling For You
If you listen
closely, you can hear me
in the wind
Read Write Poem
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Day 12. From What I Remember
From what I
Remember
Coffee
Was a religion
Cigarettes
A way of life
In the bathroom
A porcelain tub
With tiny cracks
Held the family secrets
Funerals masqueraded
As family reunions
The dishes would pile up
In the sink
Until there was a reason
To wash them
Stop!
Was another word for Go
Between supposed friends
I love you
Lost all meaning
Husbands told lies
That wives pretended
To believe
Children would dream
Of getting out
I just wanted to make
Ray Bradbury proud
Read Write Poem
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Day 11. Let's go to the movies.
Coraline, Untitled
I walk with you
Through the house
Helping you search
For your secrets
Instead I find my own
There are some
In the cupboard
Some under the floor
I had forgotten where I hid them
And the hallway
I never feared
Roaming at night
It led to some
Alternate universe
Something posing as
A parallel life
On one side
I was forced
To sleep
In order to hold on
To such pleasant dreams
On the other side
They built me a city
Where all of my dreams
Could come true
Friday, April 10, 2009
Day 10. A haiku hangs with headlines disquised as Found Poems.
Haiku, Untitled
The tree stands, unknown
Branches reaching toward Heaven
Leaves hunger for wind
**********************************************
Found Poem, Untitled I
Romeo
Is late for dinner
Just a king for his time
Capturing
The outlines
Of an exuberant universe
Found Poem, Untitled II
Panties,
squirrels,
and lots of ammo
Champagne
before breakfast
and other fantasies
What waiters talk about
when diners are waiting
Please note: My found poems were created using headlines from the April 10th, 2009 online edition of the New York Times. All headlines were taken from the Arts section.
Prompt courtesy of Read Write Poem.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Day 9: Dreaming of Paradise
Paradise, Untitled
There is no place I know
Where the grass is greener
The sky is blue
The sun shines bright
Even in a rain delay
Mind over matter they tell me
Besides, people only see
What they want to see
All I know is
It feels like home
The space between us
Is lined with chairs
Rows and rows
Waiting patiently to be filled
When I’m there
I’m never alone
But I always feel
Like the only one
Bases loaded
It’s been too long
I’d stay forever
If they would let me
You’re in my heart
I must get back to you
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
It's Day 8 and I'm Up In Flames with Heather.
Up In Flames
Maybe when I bent
It wasn’t back far enough
And you couldn’t tell
I was bending for you
Or maybe you thought
I took you for granted
A creature of habit
I let the spark fade
You’re the one that got away
Maybe I wasn’t enough
You always wanted
Bigger
And better things
Or maybe I was too good
You couldn’t bear
To hold me back
For one more second
I’m the one that got away
******************************************************
This was written about one of my exes, but titled after a friend's ex.
Heather
I can still see
The look in your eyes
As my famous last words
Became suspended
Frozen in time
I tried to catch them
But they were cold
To the touch
I never meant to hurt you
Side Note: I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who has come by to read my poems, commented on them, or emailed me. I really appreciate the support. And thanks to Read Write Poem for the daily prompts.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Day 7. Did someone say nicknames? Because I've had many.
I Have Been
My real name is Jessica
I have been
Boo
She who always
Put family first
Carried her fair share
Of the load
Always came home on time
And never once
Disappointed her mother
I have been
Princess
A bookworm
Reading by flashlight
Under the covers
Waiting for her father
To make it right
Because Jessica gave up
A long time ago
I have been
Jess
The big sister
Huddled in bed
Arms tight around
Her little brother
Waiting for the fighting to end
That’s still me
I am who I’ve always been
Monday, April 6, 2009
It's day six and I'm nothing but bones.
You stand alone
No excess baggage
As passersby
Keep passing by
They pretend
You go unnoticed
Pretend to look
Right through you
No one bothers
To comment
On how thin you look
But they think to themselves
Nothing but bones
You smile,
Then laugh
Because you know
One day they’ll be
Nothing but bones too
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Losing Momentum. Gaining Speed.
A Series of Meaningless Events
Wipe this
Empty that
Love, honor, cherish
Measure the width
Between two distances,
Come up empty
Bask in the glow
Watch that temper
Remember to breathe
Slither into bed
Plead with the pillow
Wake up,
Alone
Here is the list of words I had to choose from: Nemesis, Bitter, Sweet, Sugar, Patch, Love, Relish, Honor, Thief, Tackle, Scales, Passive, Wisdom, Crane, Wealth, View, Flow, Aggressive, Youth, Contain, Fragments, Signs, Loss, Bend, Hinder, Rise, Low, Point, Master, Life, Missed, Temper, Slither, Court, Spent, Press, Spot, Pillow, Wipe, Panic, Empty, Width, Bask, Plead, Frosted, Glow, Armor, Beauty, Close.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Day 4...
A Glossy Ruin
Brick homes
That once seemed so
Indestructible
Have been successfully blown down
By the Big Bad Wolf
Cars slip into vast holes
Courtesy of black ice
No
It’s Black Honey
And it tastes good
Children dream
Of the bright side
Adults pretend
There’s something to look forward to
On the other side of the rainbow
A world full of Mimosa Blossoms
And Pink Champagne
A brief side note: I went to the mall today looking for a lipgloss called Black Honey. After purchasing it I decided that I wanted to work Black Honey into my poem somehow. On the drive home I tried to come up with some ideas, but was unsuccessful. When I got home I immediately checked readwritepoem.com to see the prompt for today. The site suggested using paint color names or eyeshadow names and linked to the Clinique website. Coincidentally the gloss I purchased was from Clinique. I thought it was fate, so I used gloss names.
Friday, April 3, 2009
And then there were three...
#1
My heels, unsteady
falling fast into the cracks
a welcomed distraction
#2
Hold on tight
I can shake you off
at any time
#3
Saint Peter waits
put in a good word
for me, please
Thursday, April 2, 2009
No pictures. Just words.
Poem2
Torabelle
I imagine
her name,
face,
date of birth.
All the defining characteristics
that make her so attractive.
I imagine the way
she looks up from a book
the moment you
walk into the room.
I imagine your eyes
so fixed on her body
you forget all about me.
I breathe a sigh of relief.
I don’t have to disappoint you tonight.
I piece the fragments
together.
Think back
to when the phone calls
stopped coming in.
Pinpoint
the exact moment
you fell in love with her.
It makes me quite sick.
I imagine
her being incredibly delicious,
irresistible even.
The exact opposite of me.
I’m hard to swallow,
easy to forget.
Replaceable,
or so it would seem.
Side note: I don’t normally use punctuation in my poetry, but I know people who do and I’ve always envied them. I thought it would be fun to give it a try. It wasn’t.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
April is National Poetry Month
To celebrate I am going to write at least one poem a day for the month of April. This will be a challenge for me. I was going to start off with a Lune, but pieces of this came to me in the middle of the night so I decided to go with it.
Untitled
Nerves take over
Everything beyond touch
Is left patiently waiting
Elsewhere,
Heaven is crashing into stars